My drop in the ocean
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
Death is....
...no big deal. Or is it?
Really now, why do we make such a fuss about death? I won't go with the 'it's inevitable, why worry about it' argument, though that line of thinking does have its benefits. I was thinking more about why we feel uncomfortable about death in the first place.
(As always, I would stress that this can be better thought about if you cast aside your prejudices and personal fears regarding death before reading on. Often we have preconceived notions so deeply ingrained in our minds that we have difficulty exploring other aspects of an idea.)
If you think about it, we look at death from at least four angles. We either see death as our own, or the death of a loved one, or the death of an unknown person (maybe in the news), or that of, say, an insect. How our ideas change as we move along this spectrum!
The last category is the one we think least about, if at all. You witness, or are the cause of, hundreds of deaths everyday. We know since childhood that animals are killed for food, leather and other items of human consumption. We know that insects are crushed under our feet everyday, microbes killed by millions when we cook, pests killed for invading our houses. These deaths we are more or less impassive about - we take them as part of Nature's cycle, a necessity, sometimes unfortunately so, but nevertheless important. We use terms like 'to maintain balance and equilibrium' when talking about these deaths. And quite rightly, in my opinion.
However, the ways of Mother Nature are not the topic of our discussion. We move to the third category, death of a fellow human being, albeit an unknown face. This sometimes pains us and leads to the sentiment 'Why so much sorrow, such suffering?' - but given the enormous exposure to the latest news from around the world, round the clock, and the fact that most news is bad news, we end up seeing so much death that we are in danger of becoming insensitive to this category too. We feel a tinge of sorrow for the demise of one of our kind, but usually that's the extent of it. As Stalin had remarked, "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic". Of course, if the manner of death was gruesome, like a gory accident, or the circumstances are overly tragic (a couple losing their only child), we tend to take more notice of the incident than usual - maybe because we can't help thinking of us in their position? And that brings us to the personal part of the death spectrum.
The second category is perhaps the one we dread most - losing a person close to us. We attach our lives to those of so many other people, and it becomes difficult to understand what we fear more, losing that bond, or losing them. A lot of us can't even differentiate between the two losses. The death of a loved one is so disturbing to most of us, the topic is usually taboo even between the closest of friends. People we have been accustomed to, doted on, depended on for small things, taken for granted - when such people leave us, it shatters our world. From a neutral point of view, this could be labeled as hypocrisy: it matters to you when someone close dies, but not when thousands of people are killed in a war somewhere. But that is an unfair line of reasoning. Humanity is defined strongly through relationships, and this difference in attitude is but natural. That the loss of a friend or relation deeply affects you is understandable, but one should also bear in mind that this was bound to happen some day - even though we don't like to think about it, we can't wish it away. And it is a necessary part of life - paradoxical, I know, that death should be a part of life - a part as natural and important as the full stop at the end of this sentence.
As we mature with age and experience, we constantly grow more philosophical about our own death. The first category we mentioned of how we perceive death is perhaps the most perplexing and definitely the most important of the lot. Because for a lot of us, death is like the finishing whistle in a seashell-picking contest - we want to pick up all the shells we can before time runs out. This comes in the form of 'Things to do before I die' - a list I suspect all of us have consciously or subconsciously been maintaining throughout our lives. I believe what a man thinks of his death says a lot about him. Death is the great Unknown, we don't know what it will be like - what, then, are we apprehensive about? All we know about death is what we have heard from others (none of them dead) and imagined in our minds. The fear of death to us is the same as the fear of darkness is to children, and stories just serve to increase fear in both cases.
In fact, it is more likely that we fear the mode of death more than death itself. Physical pain, suffering, the trouble and sorrow for those who love us - are we afraid of these more than the actual thing? Or is it just the fear of leaving so many thoughts unsaid, so many things undone before we leave, never to return, never getting a second chance? It could be anything, but one thing is for sure - when you take death into perspective, life certainly takes on a fresh meaning.
Really now, why do we make such a fuss about death? I won't go with the 'it's inevitable, why worry about it' argument, though that line of thinking does have its benefits. I was thinking more about why we feel uncomfortable about death in the first place.
(As always, I would stress that this can be better thought about if you cast aside your prejudices and personal fears regarding death before reading on. Often we have preconceived notions so deeply ingrained in our minds that we have difficulty exploring other aspects of an idea.)
If you think about it, we look at death from at least four angles. We either see death as our own, or the death of a loved one, or the death of an unknown person (maybe in the news), or that of, say, an insect. How our ideas change as we move along this spectrum!
The last category is the one we think least about, if at all. You witness, or are the cause of, hundreds of deaths everyday. We know since childhood that animals are killed for food, leather and other items of human consumption. We know that insects are crushed under our feet everyday, microbes killed by millions when we cook, pests killed for invading our houses. These deaths we are more or less impassive about - we take them as part of Nature's cycle, a necessity, sometimes unfortunately so, but nevertheless important. We use terms like 'to maintain balance and equilibrium' when talking about these deaths. And quite rightly, in my opinion.
However, the ways of Mother Nature are not the topic of our discussion. We move to the third category, death of a fellow human being, albeit an unknown face. This sometimes pains us and leads to the sentiment 'Why so much sorrow, such suffering?' - but given the enormous exposure to the latest news from around the world, round the clock, and the fact that most news is bad news, we end up seeing so much death that we are in danger of becoming insensitive to this category too. We feel a tinge of sorrow for the demise of one of our kind, but usually that's the extent of it. As Stalin had remarked, "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic". Of course, if the manner of death was gruesome, like a gory accident, or the circumstances are overly tragic (a couple losing their only child), we tend to take more notice of the incident than usual - maybe because we can't help thinking of us in their position? And that brings us to the personal part of the death spectrum.
The second category is perhaps the one we dread most - losing a person close to us. We attach our lives to those of so many other people, and it becomes difficult to understand what we fear more, losing that bond, or losing them. A lot of us can't even differentiate between the two losses. The death of a loved one is so disturbing to most of us, the topic is usually taboo even between the closest of friends. People we have been accustomed to, doted on, depended on for small things, taken for granted - when such people leave us, it shatters our world. From a neutral point of view, this could be labeled as hypocrisy: it matters to you when someone close dies, but not when thousands of people are killed in a war somewhere. But that is an unfair line of reasoning. Humanity is defined strongly through relationships, and this difference in attitude is but natural. That the loss of a friend or relation deeply affects you is understandable, but one should also bear in mind that this was bound to happen some day - even though we don't like to think about it, we can't wish it away. And it is a necessary part of life - paradoxical, I know, that death should be a part of life - a part as natural and important as the full stop at the end of this sentence.
As we mature with age and experience, we constantly grow more philosophical about our own death. The first category we mentioned of how we perceive death is perhaps the most perplexing and definitely the most important of the lot. Because for a lot of us, death is like the finishing whistle in a seashell-picking contest - we want to pick up all the shells we can before time runs out. This comes in the form of 'Things to do before I die' - a list I suspect all of us have consciously or subconsciously been maintaining throughout our lives. I believe what a man thinks of his death says a lot about him. Death is the great Unknown, we don't know what it will be like - what, then, are we apprehensive about? All we know about death is what we have heard from others (none of them dead) and imagined in our minds. The fear of death to us is the same as the fear of darkness is to children, and stories just serve to increase fear in both cases.
In fact, it is more likely that we fear the mode of death more than death itself. Physical pain, suffering, the trouble and sorrow for those who love us - are we afraid of these more than the actual thing? Or is it just the fear of leaving so many thoughts unsaid, so many things undone before we leave, never to return, never getting a second chance? It could be anything, but one thing is for sure - when you take death into perspective, life certainly takes on a fresh meaning.
posted by Wasted Light at 18:48
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